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Straight Talk Ministry School of Thought

My Blog


Confession Of A God-Player

Posted on February 19, 2019 at 5:11 AM Comments comments (109)
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.
                                                   Psalm 127:1 (NIV)

My definition of a God-Player:
A God-Player is one who has put themselves in the role of God; they have made themselves the author and finisher of their life; one who has put his/her ideas, philosophies, opinions, etc. on the throne where God should be.

Growing up in a house of chaos and unstable temperaments left me with feelings of uneasiness and anxiousness. Not knowing the mood of the house day to day, left it difficult to develop emotional stability. And because I didn't like those feelings, I purposed to control everything I could concerning me. The only problem was, I didn't know me or what was best for me. I only knew what I didn't want-which was very interesting because that's what I kept getting.

The above scripture talks about unless we allow the Lord to have place in our lives, the things we do will be useless. Oh my brothers and sisters, how much time have I spent doing useless things. Whether it was dumbing myself down to be accepted by my peers, to thinking that stuff=security, or becoming an overachiever to drown out the nagging inner voice that was determine to say "You're not enough." Sounds familiar?

What I have learned through the Word of God is the importance of having a relationship with God. All the things that I felt I needed to do or have in order to feel accomplished or approved or validated, I found out He had already given it to me. Ephesians 1:4 says he has chosen us in him before the foundation of the world. Vs 6 says we are accepted in Him. Zechariah 2:8 says we are the apple of his eye. Everything I was laboring to get through people or things, I already had and didn't even know it. 

There is nothing more important than having a relationship with God; allowing Him to lead and guide us daily. When we go off on our on, we work hard. When we follow the leadership of God, we work smart. And believe me, there is a difference. Jesus says in John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." A thief is anything or anyone who takes something that doesn't belong to them. We belong to God. We were created in His image for His purpose. Being a God-Player puts us in God's position-which makes us a thief because we are attempting to steal the throne. We must make a decision as to whether we are going to be God or allow God to be God. The choice is yours. Choose wisely. Be Blessed!

The Day God Broke My Heart

Posted on February 18, 2019 at 6:37 AM Comments comments (201)
Though he slay me, yet will I trust him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.
                                                             Job 13:15

Five months ago, I received a call at 2:20 in the morning that left my world as I knew it, shattered. It was a phone call from my sister telling me that my 28 yr old nephew (her son) was gone. He had been gunned down 10ft from where he lived after arriving home from work. I was shocked; in disbelief; in awe. My first question was "Why? 'Why would someone want to hurt him."' He was so sweet and gentle in spirit, loved helping people, a hard worker, and a good role model for those who knew him as well as those watching from afar.

So knowing what I knew about my nephew, I could not believe this had happened to him; that this was his fate. My question turned from "Why? to How?" How could this happen to someone who didn't bother anyone. He wasn't confrontational, was loved by all his peers as well as others who knew him. "So how could this happen? or better yet, 'How could you (God) let this happen?"'

My mind wrestled with this for months. The carnal part of me wanted to be upset with God-you know, like Martha in John 11:21, "...Lord if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died." (In my case, "My nephew would not have died.") But the spirit part of me said, "You were there and You allowed it to happen. You must have a good reason for it." Then my carnal mind would say, "This pain is unbearable. How could you let this happen?" The spiritual part of me would say, "I will trust You even though I can't trace You in this situation."

Back and forth these two sides converse with God - pain/hurt vs God's Word; what I was experiencing vs what I knew to be true of God; my human nature vs my spiritual nature. I would love to tell you that I came to a resolve in a few days, but I didn't. This goes on for months. Some people often think that because someone is a Christian, they don't experience pain or suffering. But that's simply not true. We experience it too. And we respond humanly too. We just don't stay there. We know there comes a point where we have to choose between what we see (the natural) and what we know to be true of God and His Word (supernatural). And each one of us comes to this resolve in our own way, in our own time.

The above scripture from Job 13:15 became one of many scriptures that I have had to say to remind myself not to allow the pain of this experience to be a reason for me to walk away from my faith in God. I remind myself of what I know to true about God and my relationship with Him. I stand firm on this knowledge through the tears, the sleepless nights, the lingering questions, the disbelief, and disappointment. And though I don't understand and may never understand why or how this happened, like Job said, "Though he slay me, yet shall I trust him." Be Blessed!